Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
