oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I need to align my fucking chakras
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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