I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
