i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
