I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
is wine microwaveable?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
