wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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