I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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