Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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