Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
