the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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