you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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