My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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