5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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