I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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