I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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