Dual....:-)
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
