It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
