Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
