I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
