i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
