He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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