i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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