What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
