Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
