We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
