quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
