Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
