Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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