do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
