he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
