my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
