I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
