I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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