I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
