YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
