Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
