Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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