week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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