My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
