It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize