I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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