ya dads aren't the best wingmen
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
