Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
