Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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