omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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