I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
