i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize