he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
