Pants 0. Shit 1.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Randomize
