he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
