he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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