I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
