I bet he comes in French.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
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