I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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