Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
