If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
