Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
