they need to just BURY HIM!
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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