yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
