Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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