if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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