Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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