We named our party play list daddy issues
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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