when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
