is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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